Chula Vista High School football player injured after ramming his head into the ball carrier's chest.
Peter Stenhoff, 16, senior at Chula Vista High School in Redmond, Calif, cracked his vertebrae and is now confined to a wheel chair.
"I knew the risks involved when I decided to play football," Stenhoff says, and adds, "I wish I would have known just how bad it could be.”
20,000 Injuries, occur each year in high school football with 12 percent of them permanently disabling the victims. Last year thirteen youths died from the injuries. Critics say the helmet is the blame. It has been proven that thirty-five percent of injuries are to the neck and head.
Stenhoff suffered from physical distress causing him to loose weight. Before the injury he weighed 210 pounds and now weighs 172 pounds. He did not graduate with his class and is in the process, but is in the process in trying to get his diploma.
Whoa, why the giant-sized type?
ReplyDeleteYour first sentence is a headline, not a complete sentence.
You've started another sentence with a number; you've got number format wrong in two other places; you've got wheelchair as two words when it's one ... you've got a lot of typos and AP style errors that make this look like a total rush job.
I'd also like to see you create a transition from the Stenhoff story to the larger issue of football injuries. Right now, you just jump from one to the next. Doing that would give your readers whiplash.
You need to slow down, proofread, and get it right.
15/20