Saturday, April 11, 2009

News story to rewrite for broadcast

Grizzly Bear at the Capitol

20 seconds

VISITORS WHO COME TO THE CAPITOL WILL NOW GET TO SEE A GIANT BRONZE GRIZZLY BEAR BY THE GOVERNORS OFFICE.

GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER PURCHASED-WITH HIS OWN MONEY-THE STATUE IN
ASPEN, COLORADO AT AN ART GALLERY, WHILE ATTENDING A FUNDRAISER.


THE BEAR SITS IN FRONT OF THE GOVERNORS OFFICE...FAR ENOUGH FROM THE DOOR
TO ALLOW FOR WHEEL CHAIR ENTRANTS.

ACCORDING TO HIS SPOKESMAN HE SAID THE GOVERNOR THOUGHT THE STATUE
WOULD ATTRACT THE CHILDREN TOURING THE CAPITOL.
-20-

1 comment:

  1. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE (possessive, not plural)

    Don't abbreviate "Gov."

    Include a pronunciation guide for Schwarzenegger

    Use double hyphens to separate a clause from the rest of the sentence (otherwise the announcer might mistake it for a hyphenated word). Also, tighten it up.

    Ex.: GOV. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER PURCHASED THE STATUE -- WITH HIS OWN MONEY -- FROM AN ART GALLERY IN ASPEN, COLORADO, WHILE ATTENDING A FUNDRAISER THERE.

    WHEELCHAIR IS ONE WORD

    ACCORDING TO HIS SPOKESMAN, THE GOVERNOR...

    12/15

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